Come, Come, ye Saints

The summer before my Sophomore year of High School, I was lucky enough to be able to spend some time in Wyoming, in a pioneer dress, pushing and pulling a handcart.  The first night we were there, it became very stormy, and we gathered in the luggage trailers to watch our tents blow across Wyoming.  As we stood in these trailers, we began to sing this Hymn.  As we sang the words, "gird up your loins, fresh courage take, our God will never us forsake", I felt the power of our words and knew that those before us had found strength in this hymn, just as we did.  In that small trailer, standing shoulder to shoulder with other wet teenagers, the Spirit testified to me that throughout my life, these words would apply to me.

Okay, so I wrote that first paragraph in June... It is now October... Maybe one day I will finish this post.  This song is so incredibly sacred to me, I don't even know where to begin.  On March first of this year I wrote this in my journal:


"Today with Sister H we sang 'Come, Come, Ye, Saints' We all cried.  The part that killed me was 'gird up your loins, fresh courage take, our God will never us forsake, and soon we will have this tale to tell, all is well, all is well.'  the idea of girding up, renewing my courage and remembering God, then knowing soon these days will just be a tale to tell, of tale of all being well.  Now matter what anyone says, where I serve or live or anything else.  All is well."

That day in Wyoming and that day in North Carolina this song changed my perspective.  I want to share with you some of my thoughts regarding yesterday in this perspective.

On October 13, 1996 my life changed.  First, let me say this with all the energy of my heart, ALL IS WELL.  Seriously.  I love my life, and that is largely because of what happened 18 years ago.  My earthly mom became my heavenly mom.  My mom passed away.  But something I have learned from my dad is that this is not a tragedy.  It is the greatest blessing my Heavenly Father ever gave me.  It gave me perspective on life, on family and on God and my Savior.  Because of this day and everyday since, I know God lives.  Tragedies do not deny His existence, they prove it.  The very fact that joy and tragedy coexist proves to me that there is a God, that He loves us and sends us blessings.
The first and biggest blessing that came are these people:

 My Daddy.  He teaches me about life, about hard days and good days.  He is my very best friend and that is largely because he and I shared losing my mom and more importantly shared finding my mom together.

My Mom.  While she may not be the one who gave me life, she is definitely the one who has showed me how to live it.  She and I have had ups and downs like all moms and daughters, but she is my mom.  She loves me and I love her.  We laugh together and she is one of my biggest supporters as I serve the Lord.  I hope one day to be like her. 

These kids.  Goodness I love them.  Jared is my hero, to me, he exemplifies everything that the Stripling Warriors were like.  He is good and kind and true to what he knows is right.  He is the best brother and I miss talking late at night to him about his middle school drama(:  Leah is what my Heavenly Father sent me to keep me laughing.  She is spunky and sweet and I am grateful that she and I got to spend so much time driving to and from Gymnastics.  She is becoming a beautiful young lady, who will do and does much good.  Jessica...sweet Smess.  She taught me how to love.  She taught me what it means to love and helps me recognize charity.  She is the perfect addition to our crazy sibling gang.  I love her.  These three are my best friends and biggest fans.  I love them and am so grateful that God blessed me with them, a blessing only possible through my moms death. 

My mom.  She gave me life and that is something I will forever be grateful for, but more then that she is serving alongside me.  The sweetest part of being a missionary is knowing that I have help from beyond the veil, I have her help.  I am grateful for the examples of two missionary mothers, earthy and heavenly.   

Three crazy extended families.  How lucky am I?  I have six of the best grandparents in the world who love me.  Together I have over 160 people who love me, who cheer me on and who teach me of Jesus Christ.  They show me what true strength is and why eternal families are going to be a blast.  99 of them I would not have had if my family hadn't gone through some hard things.

I think the biggest blessing of it all however is my relationship with the Savior.  He is the only reason I can say that all is well.  It is.  Just like the song teaches, "soon we will have this tale to tell, all is well."  18 years ago my mom died.  15 years ago I got a new mom.  14 years ago I gained an example. 12 years ago I got a best friend and adventure sidekick.  9 years ago I got a best friend and snuggle buddy.  8 years ago I got a pacemaker.  4 years ago I got a new start at a new school.  1 year ago I got a white envelope that changed my life.  9 months ago I left my family for the first time.  1 month ago I left them again.  Because of Him, this is all a tale to tell, and not just a tale, but a happy victorious tale.  A tale of joy, of eternal families, of repentance, of change, of hope and love.  A tale that I am totally in love with.  My story is my very favorite because I am not the star, my Savior is.  Through Him I find the strength to do all things, hard and easy.  Jesus is the Christ.  He is the only way, and as we walk His path we find the strength like those pioneers who crossed the plains so long ago to say All is Well.  All is Well.  As we gird our loins with strength and take courage all truly is well.


Here is a link to this song!
https://www.lds.org/music/library/hymns/come-come-ye-saints?lang=eng
And a neat discussion about the history behind it!
http://www.mormonchannel.org/history-of-hymns/16

If you have any questions about anything that I post, please message me on facebook or comment here!  I would love to answer ANY question(:  Thanks for reading!  Please share it!

Dear Violet

Dear Violet,
Eight years ago today I had my pacemaker placed.  What a crazy ride it has been since then.  Yesterday as I visited you, the sweetest two year old who just had a very similar, but more intense surgery, I reflected on this journey.  Now my emotions are a little extreme tonight as I come out of another (minor) surgery, but I couldn't let today past without writing these thoughts.  I know your just two, but maybe one day this will matter to you, maybe not.

Having my pacemaker placed changed my whole life.  Today as I was going over medical history with a nurse before they removed a tumor from my hand, she asked me, "if you knew all that you know now about what would happen after you got your pacemaker, would you do it again?"  I had to think for only a second before answering yes.  I would.  Here are some of the things I have learned:
God gives hard things to people who are tough enough.
The only way you are tough enough is through the Atonement of Jesus Christ
When you fell like blessings are being denied you because of your situation, just hold on, the blessings will come more abundantly then you could ever imagine.
The very best medicine is laughing
Let your family love you
It is scary sometimes, remember your Heavenly Fathers words, "Be not afraid, only believe" and "Fear not little flock"
The priesthood is powerful, seriously.
So is prayer
When you hurt, when they have to replace parts of your device, when you get poked or shocked remember that your Savior has felt it all.  Turn to Him, that is where you will find peace.
This is not a punishment, but rather an opportunity to receive choice blessings from a Father in Heaven who loves you.

Sweet Violet, by the time you are old enough to understand this, you will have no idea of who
I am, but I will always remember you.  I think that maybe our Heavenly Father asks two year olds to fight the toughest battles, but guess what?  We will win our battles.  And one day, we will be resurrected, without pacemakers, but I think I might want to keep my scar, it reminds me of who I am and of my Savior.

As I painted your nails, made you giggle and fed you I enjoyed every minute of your beautiful smile.  Keep smiling, keep praying, keeping sharing your sass.  You have an amazing family, thanks for sharing your mom with me for more then one trip to and night spent at Duke.  If you ever doubt Gods love, look at your family, they are truly Christlike.

You're in for a tough ride little one, just buckle in and laugh through it all.  There are more happy days then sad to come, more nights spent in a happy place then in a hospital bed, more opportunities to learn and grow.  More joy to be found in Gods plan for you.  I love you, you are tough, you are part of the great pacemaker club and you are a daughter of God, and really? does anything else matter?
I love you!
Love, Sister Jacobson(:

P.S. I have found lots of peace in this quote:

“From the limited perspective of those who do not have knowledge, understanding, or faith in the Father’s plan—who look at the world only through the lens of mortality with its wars, violence, disease, and evil—this life can seem depressing, chaotic, unfair, and meaningless. …
“Many do not appreciate that under His loving and comprehensive plan, those who appear to be disadvantaged through no fault of their own are not ultimately penalized. …
“There are many kinds of challenges. Some give us necessary experiences. Adverse results in this mortal life are not evidence of lack of faith or of an imperfection in our Father in Heaven’s overall plan. The refiner’s fire is real, and qualities of character and righteousness that are forged in the furnace of affliction perfect and purify us and prepare us to meet God.” -Elder Cook