Dear Violet

Dear Violet,
Eight years ago today I had my pacemaker placed.  What a crazy ride it has been since then.  Yesterday as I visited you, the sweetest two year old who just had a very similar, but more intense surgery, I reflected on this journey.  Now my emotions are a little extreme tonight as I come out of another (minor) surgery, but I couldn't let today past without writing these thoughts.  I know your just two, but maybe one day this will matter to you, maybe not.

Having my pacemaker placed changed my whole life.  Today as I was going over medical history with a nurse before they removed a tumor from my hand, she asked me, "if you knew all that you know now about what would happen after you got your pacemaker, would you do it again?"  I had to think for only a second before answering yes.  I would.  Here are some of the things I have learned:
God gives hard things to people who are tough enough.
The only way you are tough enough is through the Atonement of Jesus Christ
When you fell like blessings are being denied you because of your situation, just hold on, the blessings will come more abundantly then you could ever imagine.
The very best medicine is laughing
Let your family love you
It is scary sometimes, remember your Heavenly Fathers words, "Be not afraid, only believe" and "Fear not little flock"
The priesthood is powerful, seriously.
So is prayer
When you hurt, when they have to replace parts of your device, when you get poked or shocked remember that your Savior has felt it all.  Turn to Him, that is where you will find peace.
This is not a punishment, but rather an opportunity to receive choice blessings from a Father in Heaven who loves you.

Sweet Violet, by the time you are old enough to understand this, you will have no idea of who
I am, but I will always remember you.  I think that maybe our Heavenly Father asks two year olds to fight the toughest battles, but guess what?  We will win our battles.  And one day, we will be resurrected, without pacemakers, but I think I might want to keep my scar, it reminds me of who I am and of my Savior.

As I painted your nails, made you giggle and fed you I enjoyed every minute of your beautiful smile.  Keep smiling, keep praying, keeping sharing your sass.  You have an amazing family, thanks for sharing your mom with me for more then one trip to and night spent at Duke.  If you ever doubt Gods love, look at your family, they are truly Christlike.

You're in for a tough ride little one, just buckle in and laugh through it all.  There are more happy days then sad to come, more nights spent in a happy place then in a hospital bed, more opportunities to learn and grow.  More joy to be found in Gods plan for you.  I love you, you are tough, you are part of the great pacemaker club and you are a daughter of God, and really? does anything else matter?
I love you!
Love, Sister Jacobson(:

P.S. I have found lots of peace in this quote:

“From the limited perspective of those who do not have knowledge, understanding, or faith in the Father’s plan—who look at the world only through the lens of mortality with its wars, violence, disease, and evil—this life can seem depressing, chaotic, unfair, and meaningless. …
“Many do not appreciate that under His loving and comprehensive plan, those who appear to be disadvantaged through no fault of their own are not ultimately penalized. …
“There are many kinds of challenges. Some give us necessary experiences. Adverse results in this mortal life are not evidence of lack of faith or of an imperfection in our Father in Heaven’s overall plan. The refiner’s fire is real, and qualities of character and righteousness that are forged in the furnace of affliction perfect and purify us and prepare us to meet God.” -Elder Cook